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Topic: Administratium

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	New Element Analysis
		Administratium has a normal half-life of approximately three years, at which time it does not actually decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which assistant neutrons, vice neutrons and assistant vice neutrons exchange places.
		Scientists warn that Administratium is known to be toxic, and recommend plenty of fluids and bed rest after even low levels of exposure.
		This is especially true of Administratium, which will cling to the skin and somehow attract still more particles, eventually weighing the victim down until he or she is almost incapable of movement.
	www.cwru.edu /dms/homes/eam3/humor/administratium.html (561 words)

	It's chemical [rec.humor.funny] (Site not responding. Last check: 2007-09-20)
		Administratium has a half-life of approximately 3 years, at which time it does not actually decay.
		Administratium was discovered by accident when Dr. Languor angrily resigned from the chairmanship of the physics department and dumped all of his papers into the intake hatch of the university's particle accelerator.
		According to one scientist, Administratium is most likely to be found on college and university campuses, near the best-appointed and best-maintained buildings.
	www.netfunny.com /rhf/jokes/89q1/17854.html (300 words)

	TidBits: Administratium
		The element, tentatively named administratium (element name Ad), has no protons or electrons, which means that it has atomic number 0 and falls outside the natural patterns exhibited by other elements.
		However, it does have 1 neutron, 125 assistants to the neutron, 75 vice neutrons and 111 assistants to the vice neutrons.
		Another phenomenon that has been observed, as expected from the mechanics of minute particles, is that the more one tries to pin down the positions of vice neutrons within the structure of administratium, the more uncertain those positions become.
	www.fiction.net /tidbits/religion/administ.html (292 words)

	JIMFO - Administratium (Site not responding. Last check: 2007-09-20)
		A minute amount of Administratium causes one reaction to take more than 4 days to complete when it would normally take less than a second.
		Administratium has a normal half-life of 3 years; it does not decay but instead undergoes a reorganization, in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons and assistant deputy neutrons exchange places.
		This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientists to speculate that Administratium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration.
	www.users.nac.net /jmp/humor/admin.html (209 words)

	The One-Element Periodic Table (Site not responding. Last check: 2007-09-20)
		Administratium has a half-life of approximately three years, at which time it does no decay.
		Administratium was discovered by accident when Dr. Langour angrily resigned from the chairmanship of the Physics Department and dumped all of his papers into the intake hatch of the university's particle accelerator.
		According to one scientist, administratium is most likely to be found on college and university campuses, and in large corporations and government centers, near the best-appointed and best-maintained buildings.
	mason.gmu.edu /~dfaxon/Administratium.html (287 words)

	Administratium (Site not responding. Last check: 2007-09-20)
		These 312 particles are held together in a nucleus by a force that involves the continuous exchange of meson-like particles called morons.
		According to discoverers, a minute amount of Administratium caused one reaction to take more than four days to complete, when it would normally occur in less than a second.
		Administratium has a normal half life of approximately three years, at which time it does not actually decay, but instead undergoes reorganization in which neutrons, vice-neutrons, and assistant vice-neutrons exchange places.
	www.ecst.csuchico.edu /~judyc/administratium.html (245 words)

	Administratium (Site not responding. Last check: 2007-09-20)
		These 315 particles are held together in a nucleus by a force that involves the continuous exchange of meson-like particles called Morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.
		Administratium has a normal half-life of aproximately 3 years, at which time it does not decay but, instead, undergoes a reorganisation in which Assistant Neutrons, Vice-Neutrons and Assistant Vice-Neutrons exchange places.
		This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to speculate that Administratium is spontaneously formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration.
	www.kuster-web.net /observations/administratium.htm (403 words)

	Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7 (Site not responding. Last check: 2007-09-20)
		According to the discoverers, a minute amount of Administratium causes one reaction to take over four days to complete, when it would normally have occurred in less than a few seconds.
		Administratium has in normal terminology, a characteristic 'half-life' of approximately 1 year.
		This phenomenon of 'moron promotion' leads some scientists to speculate that Administratium is spontaneously formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity of concentration in space.
	www.menofleisure.com /pages/features/admin.htm (330 words)

	Administratium. New chemical Element Discovered (Site not responding. Last check: 2007-09-20)
		The element, tentatively named administratium, has no protons or electrons and thus has an atomic number of 0.
		According to the discoverers, a minute amount of administratium causes one reaction to take over four days to complete when it would have normally occurred in less than a second.
		Administratium has a normal half-life of approximately three years, at which time it does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which assistant neutrons, vice neutrons and assistant vice neutrons exchange places.
	www.lhup.edu /~dsimanek/administ.htm (305 words)

	Administratium (Site not responding. Last check: 2007-09-20)
		Administratium has a normal half-life of approximately three years, at which time it does not actually decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which assistant neutrons, vice assistant neutrons, and associate vice neutrons exchange places.
		Scientists warn that Administratium is known to be toxic, and recommend plenty of fluids and rest even after low levels of exposure.
		Scientists warn that Administratium is known to be toxic, and can easily destroy any productive reaction where it is allowed to accumulate.
	www.concentric.net /~leetoma/humor-administratium.htm (284 words)

	Administratium (Site not responding. Last check: 2007-09-20)
		The 312 particles are held together in the nucleus by a force that involves the continuous exchange of meson-like particles called memo.ns.
		Administratium has a half-life of approximately three years, at which time it does not actually decay.
		Instead, it undergoes an internal reorganization in which associates to the neutron, deputy associates to the neutron, and assistant deputy associate neutrons all exchange places.
	www.public.iastate.edu /~sturges/Humor/administ.html (197 words)

	Administratium (Site not responding. Last check: 2007-09-20)
		Administratium has a normal half-life of approximately three years, at which time it does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons, vice neutrons, and assistant vice neutrons exchange places.
		In fact, an Administratium sample's mass actually increases over time, since with each reorganization some of the morons inevitably become neutrons, forming new isotopes.
		This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to speculate that perhaps Administratium is spontaneously formed whenever morons reach quantity in concentration.
	www.mbhessen.de /aktuell/admin.htm (247 words)

	Administratium (Site not responding. Last check: 2007-09-20)
		Administratium has 1 neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, and 111 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.
		These 312 particles are held together by a force called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.
		In fact, Administratium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization causes some morons to become neutrons forming isodopes.
	www.gsapio.com /3_Funnies/3Administratium.htm (208 words)

	Scientists Discover New Element: Administratium (Site not responding. Last check: 2007-09-20)
		The element, tentatively named "Administratium" (Ad), has no protons or electrons, which means that its atomic number is 0.
		According to one of the discoverers of the element, even a small amount of Administratium made one reaction that normally lasts less than a second take more than four days.
		According to one scientist, Administratium is most likely to be found on college and university campuses, and in large corporate and government centers, near the best appointed and maintained building.
	www.gksoft.com /a/fun/administratium.html (222 words)

	Humor: Administratium -- The ABC's of Small Business
		The 312 particles are held together by a force that involves the continuous exchange of meson-like particles called morons.
		According to the discoverers, one reaction that normally requires less than one second was extended to four days by the presence of a minute amount of Administratium.
		Administratium has a half-life of approximately three years, at which time it does not actually decay but instead undergoes a reorganizationin which assistant neutrons, vice-neutrons and assistant vice-neutrons exchange places.
	www.abcsmallbiz.com /funny/administratium.html (309 words)

	Blogdom - What's new: New Element Discovered: Administratium (Site not responding. Last check: 2007-09-20)
		Administratium has 1 neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons,and 111 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.
		Administratium has a normal half-life of 3 years; it does not decay but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.
		The richest outcroppings appear to be in urban areas near governmental structures and academic health care centers causing some to hypothesize that Administratium may not be an element but only a research waste by-product.
	www.blogdom.org /archives/000630.php (297 words)

	Administratium (Site not responding. Last check: 2007-09-20)
		According to the discoverers, a tiny amount of Administratium caused one reaction to take over 4 days to complete when it would normally occur in less than 1 second.
		Administratium has a normal half-life of approximately 3 years.
		Attempts are being made to determine how Administratium can be controlled to prevent irreversible damage, but results are not promising.
	rs2.ch.liv.ac.uk /~dlc/Administratium.html (269 words)

	Administratium (Site not responding. Last check: 2007-09-20)
		Administratium has a half life of approximately three years, at which time it does not actually decay but instead undergoes a reorganisation in which assistant neutrons, vice neutrons and assistant vice neutrons exchange places.
		This is due to the vast absorption of the Fundinuclei to keep the nucleus of the Administratium active.
		The biggest worry of the physicists and scientists, is that this will eventually have an overwhelmingly destructive effect on the dediworkertrons; it could almost wipe it out if the Administratium cannot be confined within its element, and the absorption of the Fundinuclei radically stemmed.
	homepages.nildram.co.uk /~jimella/admin.htm (396 words)

	Administratium - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
		The piece was written by William DeBuvitz in 1988 and first appeared in print in The Physics Teacher (January 1989 issue).
		An extension of the "Administratium" joke, Bureaucratite is a mineral that contains Administratium.
		"Scientists have released the secret of the source of Administratium; Administratium is refined from a repulsive amorphous material similar to a thick petroleum tar but much more viscous and sticky.
	en.wikipedia.org /wiki/Administratium (1181 words)

	HUMOR: Administratium, A New Element
		Scientists point out that Administratium is known to be toxic at all levels of concentration.
		Administratium has one neutron, 126 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons and 111 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 313.
		Administratium has a normal half-life of three years; it does not decay but instead undergoes a reorganization, in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons and assistant deputy neutrons exchange places.
	www.meduohio.edu /research/newelem.html (560 words)

	Scientists Discover New Element: Administratium (Site not responding. Last check: 2007-09-20)
		The element, tenatively named administratium (Ad) has no protons or electrons, which means that it has atomic number 0 and falls outside the natural patterns exhibited by all other known elements.
		According to one of the discoverers, even a small amount of administratium made one reaction which normally lasts less than one second take more than four days.
		Another phenomenon which has been observed (as expected from the mechanics of minute particles) is that the more one tries to pin down the positions of the vice neutrons within the structure of administratium, the more uncertain those positions become.
	ifaq.wap.org /science/newelement.html (244 words)

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