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| | Guardian Unlimited | Today's issues | Royal Ascot |
 | | Today is the opening day of Ascot, an event designed to push British citizens towards republicanism and make the upper classes look slightly ridiculous. |
 | | As Julie Andrews put it in My Fair Lady, "Everyone who should be hyaa is hyaa." Over the next four days, the better-heeled race goers will put away around 6,000 lobsters and slosh down 120,000 bottles of champagne, not to mention the 4.5 tonnes of strawberries and 550 gallons of cream. |
 | | The riffraff can also get into Royal Ascot quite cheaply, though they are not allowed to mix with the top-hatted toffs, and are very much better off for being on their own side of the track. |
| www.guardian.co.uk /netnotes/article/0,6729,509344,00.html (289 words) |
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