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Egocentrism - Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia |
 | | The principles of egocentrism were first put forth in 1971 by me, in response to the obvious errors promulgated by history's three previous astronomical paradigms: heliocentrism, geocentrism, and lunocentrism. |
 | | Egocentrism, being much simpler than heliocentrism, general relativity, and quantum cheddardynamics combined, has no need for vast numbers of epicycles, nor even mathematical formulae. |
 | | Instead of elliptical orbits, objects that are not me tend to move in spirals (a prominent feature incorporated in many natural phenomeni such as sea shells, slinkies, and stock market projections), with the perfect circle being the special (degenerate) case, and me (needless to say) at the precise center. |
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