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| | Dispatches from Hell: Beans, beans, the musical fruit. |
 | | There are message boards, like Queen of Farts, and then there’s always the personals section in your local paper or alternative weekly. |
 | | Also, even if you dated someone that wasn’t vegan, you might be able to convince them to eat vegan for a few days—or long enough to clear out animal matter from their digestive system—and then throw you some smelly love. |
 | | The good news is, if you’re an eproctophile, chances are you’ll love vegan women, many of whom (along with vegan men) are basically farting machines due to a higher consumption level of, among other things, legumes, than their omni counterparts. |
| dispatchesfromhell.org /index.php?id=12 (336 words) |
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