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| | Football | Adding insult to injury |
 | | It seemed to have got to the point where the only thing that would get James Beattie into the England squad was an outbreak of bubonic plague on the training ground, taking out not only every single one of Sven-Goran Eriksson's forwards but also another dozen who had just turned up to say hello. |
 | | Sven doesn't see Beattie as international class, whether it be because of his touch, his lack of pace, or his blonde highlights. |
 | | If I were Beattie, when I got brought on in Sven's obligatory second-half switcharound, I'd spend the rest of the game fanny-dancing, step-overs, head-juggling, shoulder-rolling, the lot. |
| football.guardian.co.uk /print/0,,4797642-103,00.html (462 words) |
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