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| | The Sports Rag |
 | | Chicago, IL Bulls General Manager Jerry Krause (below, left), 64, carrying approximately 567 trembling, bubbling, clammy pounds of walking, talking, perpetually life-threatening man-beef, stunned the sports world Monday by revealing that he actually has health problems. |
 | | As stunned reporters looked on, Krause matter-of-factly revealed his health woes, which he had apparently kept secret from friends, relatives and the public. |
 | | Krause then leaned over to a nearby buffet table and swallowed an entire turkey. |
| www.thesportsrag.com /009_Krause.html (195 words) |
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