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| | Inexorable March Of Time Brings TV's Jerry Mathers One Step Closer To Death | The Onion - America's Finest News ... |
 | | I was like, 'Whoa, look at Jerry Mathers, he's getting up there in years,' and my wife said, 'Well, aren't we all?' I guess it's true. |
 | | But as these urban legends continue to circulate, the real Jerry Mathers remains very much alive, forging ahead day after day, as all of us must, despite the inevitable end which awaits him in the cold embrace of Death. |
 | | And his 1998 memoir, And Jerry Mathers As "The Beaver," still in print and a strong seller since its 1998 publication, is a delightful trip down memory lane and an enjoyable book for readers of all ages. |
| www.theonion.com /content/node/28274/print (656 words) |
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