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| | Nails, Hair Cared For Better Than Child | The Onion - America's Finest News Source |
 | | Porcia spends each morning with her grandmother, who drops her off at Wee Ones at 11:30 a.m. |
 | | Once the two are home, Porcia plays in her room, watches TV, or sits on the floor watching Sweedlin use her array of curling irons, makeup brushes, and hair-styling products, which the girl is repeatedly warned not to touch. |
 | | While Porcia's 24-month checkup is four months overdue, Sweedlin never misses an appointment at the Glamorous You day spa, where she regularly undergoes facials, makeovers, and leg-waxing sessions. |
| www.theonion.com /content/node/38530/print (721 words) |
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