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| | Colbert for Keynote Petition |
 | | In fact, I will sacrifice graduation and all its bitter, pointless formalities to see Jimmy Carter, 2002 Nobel laureate, mud wrestle Colin Powell, bitter, fl man. I don’t hate Colin, honestly. |
 | | He’s a decorated man, sports huge shoulders, stepped on a Punji stick, and could probably split my leg in two. |
 | | The point, presented with clarity and categorically endorsed, is that Stephen Colbert must give our keynote address. |
| www.petitiononline.com /Colbert/petition.html (297 words) |
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