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| | Methushael Begets Lamech | The Onion - America's Finest News Source |
 | | JERUSALEM—According to a report released Monday by Pentateuch officials, 930-year-old area resident Adam had two sons, Abel and Cain, and Cain begat Enoch, and Enoch begat Mehujal, and Mehujal begat Methushael, and Methushael begat Lamech. |
 | | Joktan, who begat Almodad, Sheleph, Hazarmaveth, Jerah, Hadoram, Uzul, Diklah, Obal, Abimael, Shebah, Ophir, Havilah, and Jobab. |
 | | Joktan, 297, then begat Almodad, Sheleph, Hazarmaveth, Jerah, Hadoram, Uzul, Diklah, Obal, Abimael, Shebah, Ophir, Havilah, and Jobab. |
| www.theonion.com /content/node/29828/print (450 words) |
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