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Topic: The Cows (band)

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	Mentally Incontinent: A Joe The Peacock Book - The Cows... They Talk!!!
		Again the cows began chanting this phrase in a dulled shout, their voices muffled by the thin veil of fabric located in the neck of the cow costume which covered their faces.
		Alone and without recourse, the irate and angry cow slumped a little and decided that discretion was the better part of valor (well, as much discretion as one can exercise when dressed as a cow and covered in red paint), making her way out of the restaurant.
		It is at this time that I would like to use the stupid cow's own usage of "you are what you eat" to state that it is my opinion that she is absolutely right and that her brain has turned into a turnip or a cabbage...
	www.mentallyincontinent.com /article155.html (6790 words)

	COW BAND
		Cow Band is one of the very old bands in the Trinidad Carnival dating back as it does from the days of Camboulay, which went out of existence in 1881-1881.
		The Cow Band of those days consisted of a small band of about a dozen men dressed in full length gowns of sacking made from rice bags or the light-weight sacking which was used for wrapping bales of imported cloth.
		On the second and final day of Carnival (Tuesday), the Cow Band of the later period came out in brightly coloured costumes, with picadors and a matador with cape challenging the cows.
	www.nalis.gov.tt /carnival/CARNIVALcostumes_CowBand.htm (692 words)

	You have two cows (Site not responding. Last check: 2007-10-26)
		The "two cows" parodies however, place the cow-owner in a full-fledged economic system where cows are used as a metaphor for all currency, capital, means of production, etc. The intent is often to point out flaws and absurdities in those systems.
		As such, the first "two cows" jokes were meant to compare opposing economic systems such as capitalism and communism, typically by describing how the government and bureaucracy would interfere with one's quiet enjoyment of one's cows.
		The proletarian cows unite and overthrow the bourgeoisie cow-herds.
	www.teachtime.com /en/wikipedia/y/yo/you_have_two_cows.html (3113 words)

	Michigan Daily Online
		The band's been around for about nine years and are about to release their eighth album, "Whorn." In that time, the band has had their ups and downs, but has always stumbled through them to create some of the most entertaining modern music around, based on distorted guitar, bass, drums and vocals.
		The wild vigor that the band has become known for is less prevalent, and the more subtle sound the band hinted at on their last album is becoming more pronounced.
		Soon you'll have a chance to compare some of the band's earlier work with the new album, as a compilation of material by the band is soon to be released.
	www.pub.umich.edu /daily/1996/mar/03-22-96/arts/cows.html (565 words)

	Your Band Sucks
		Your Band Sucks: Live From My Mother’s Basement
		According to Dr. David Thorpe and "Your Band Sucks," the music you hold dear is actually unimportant, dull, and staggeringly awful.
		Everything from folk music to terrorcore-techstep is absolute garbage that has somehow fallen off the trash heap of modern music and found its way into your CD player.
	www.somethingawful.com /d/your-band-sucks (180 words)

	You have two cows. The government.... from TheCapitol.Net. YouHave2Cows.com
		The milk rights of six cows are transferred via a Panamanian intermediary to a Cayman Islands company secretly owned by the majority shareholder, who sells the rights to all seven cows' milk back to the listed company.
		When she dies she is stuffed and placed in a museum by Castro, "The Dictator of the Cows," where "future generations could admire her magnificent udders." You have not seen cow milk since 1985.
		The only method to milk a cow is to have a cow on one side of a curtain and a guy milking the cow on the other side.
	www.thecapitol.net /Recommended/twocows.htm (2207 words)

	Cows from Space (Site not responding. Last check: 2007-10-26)
		The Space Cows communicate either by talking to each other (they have their own Cow Tongue language) or through a series of sophisticated ear flips and tail twitches.
		Each Space Cow is different from another, however, and this fact, combined with their amazing intellects, is sure to bring about vast cultural and social breakthroughs in the coming years.
		These cows have also proven themselves to be particularly adept at avoiding slaughterhouses and rodeos.
	www.omnology.com /gurps-cow.html (946 words)

	Cows (Site not responding. Last check: 2007-10-26)
		Cows In The Graveyard is a trio based in Cleveland, Ohio that has established itself as the region's premiere rock band for the thinking audience.
		Cows In The Graveyard's frontman, Alx Alvarez, finds the soul of his music in his roots and in his art.
		The result: Cows In The Graveyard in concert replicate all the parts from their recorded release without the need for additional musicians, samples, pre-recorded parts or back-up singers.
	www.fishheadrecords.com /Cows.htm (513 words)

	Oakland Zoo: Tule Elk (Site not responding. Last check: 2007-10-26)
		New bands are formed which consist of 5 to 20 females and a single bull.
		Cows carry their young about eight and a half months; a single calf is born in May or June of the following year.
		The calf is spotted when born and is eating green vegetation by the time it is a month old, but the mother may continue to nurse it until winter.
	www.oaklandzoo.org /atoz/aztlelk.html (479 words)

	TrouserPress.com :: Cows
		Besides throwing off a frenzied psycho-guitar roar, the Cows take a viciously crude view of the world (enunciated in a tuneless shout by Selberg, who also provides the surprising sound of trombone and bugle), all mitigated by a wry undercurrent of humor.
		After that, the Cows abandoned their original sound — industrial-grade sandpaper guitar ripping over a jug band playing with scalpels — in favor of a chunky, stop-start style that makes most hardcore punk easy listening in comparison.
		Cows' lyrics create an environment of distance: the thoughts, actions and lives are described so brutally you can only hope they're meant to be ironic.
	www.trouserpress.com /entry_90s.php?a=cows (830 words)

	iodo - band
		A man with no musical training who was fired from a previous band for lack of singing ability.
		However, he does have corduroy flares which elevates him above the faceless non-entities who constitute the rest of the band.
		His cornet gives a Jazz edge to the bands’ style, although his liking of The Scissor Sisters ensures he will never attain any Jazz credibility.
	homepage.ntlworld.com /moo.cows/iodo/band.htm (469 words)

	You-have-two-cows
		Upon inspection, both cows are found to be bulls, and the milk worthless.
		You sell off their milk before the cows have even been milked to both legitimate and shady investors who hope to resell the non-existent milk for a 100% profit in two years' time.
		The only method to milk a cow is to have a cow on one side of a curtain and a guy milking the cow on the other side.
	www.uic.edu /classes/actg/actg516rtr/Readings/Fun/You-have-two-cows.htm (2331 words)

	Farm Sanctuary - In The News
		Tethered or in stanchions, the cattle could move only a few inches, and one cow's bloodied hipbone was infected and exposed to the bone.
		The manure was piled so high that the cows' heads were inches away from hitting the ceiling, and their hooves were so overgrown it was a wonder they could walk at all," said Susie Coston, Farm Sanctuary's shelter director.
		The two remaining cows, Sunny and Lilli, and the bull, Bradley, will remain at Farm Sanctuary where they will join the New York shelter's main herd, once they are fully rehabilitated.
	www.farmsanctuary.org /media/06_rathbone.htm (641 words)

	The Cows
		The band had wrapped up and Sergio was talking with some Italian friends so I set out along a trail that seemed to lead to the top of a ridge a few miles distant...
		A hundred cows meandered lazily around the valley enjoying the grass, and each one had a bell, sending out a pleasant ringing that could be heard from miles away in the enclosed valley which acted as a giant ampitheatre!
		The bells hung such that the motion of the cow lazily chewing the grass would keep them ringing, even if the cow was not actually walking, so the whole valley was filled with the dance of the dairy as the cows lazily munched away at the fresh grass.
	www.x-plane.com /adventures/thecows.html (1397 words)

	Milking treated cows
		If treated cows are commingled and "co-milked" with untreated herdmates, vacuum needs to be drawn off of a separate vacuum line installed specifically for that purpose, and using a separate claw and milk hose designated specifically for treated cows*.
		While this system is not fool-proof (cows can escape or be placed in the wrong pen), and it may make management of the housing area more difficult, it can significantly reduce the risk of mistakenly milking a treated cow into the bulk tank.
		A band on each hind leg can provide some insurance against cows that may enter on either side of the parlor, or the possibility of one band being lost.
	www.ext.vt.edu /news/periodicals/dairy/2001-12/milkingtreatedcows.html (493 words)

	Amazon.com: Whorn: Music: The Cows (Site not responding. Last check: 2007-10-26)
		With a fetid, flatulent blast from Cows vocalist Shannon Selberg's bugle, the Cows return to the noise-rock fray with nothing but bad intentions.
		I also consider them to be the most consistent band of the 90's, bar none.
		O.T. comes at you from a number of different directions, and I think you can tell the band was really trying to expand their horizons.
	www.amazon.com /Whorn-Cows/dp/B0000004IB (1072 words)

	Zombie Chickens and Electric Cows
		No this is not the name of my new band nor is it the name of a new B-grade horror flick.
		The farm is part of Cow Power, a program of the local electric company, Central Vermont Public Service.
		Cow Power gives customers the option to pay higher rates to subsidize farm-generated, poop-powered electricity.
	www.quazen.com /News/Current-Events/Zombie-Chickens-and-Electric-Cows.10416 (1114 words)

	Facts about Jersey Cows
		Cows are referred to as the foster mothers of the human race because they produce most of the milk that people drink.
		The average cow in the United States produces 53 pounds of milk per day which is equivalent to about 6.2 gallons.
		Cows are milked for an average of 3-4 years.
	www.woodsidefarmcreamery.com /FunFacts/JerseyFacts.htm (1239 words)

	The Cows: Reviews, Discography, Audio Clips, and more \|\|\| Music.com
		Serving as both an excellent introduction to the Cows' freaked-out, discordant universe and as a reissue of older, out-of-print album tracks and singles, Old Gold captures this quartet's arc of development from a sloppy, discordant Butthole Surfer-esque punk band to legendary noise rock merchants.
		The release of Cunning Stunts signaled a "maturity" to the Cows, but it really meant that riffs and hooks were starting to emerge from their usual tarpit of sound.
		Arguably the most infamously named band in the annals of popular music -- for years, radio found their moniker unspeakable, and the press deemed it unprintable -- the Butthole Surfers long reigned among the most twisted and depraved acts ever to bubble up from the American underground.
	www.music.com /group/the_cows/1 (536 words)

	You have two cows/13 - Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
		Contemporary: You have two cows that are radically different than your friends; you therefor shove your cows in his or her face proving how 'revolutionary' you are.
		Glam Rock: You have two cows, one is a boy and one is a girl, you can't tell which cow is a boy and which cow is a girl but you're pretty sure both are gay anyways.
		Indie: You have two cows whose music tastes are so superior, they refuse to listen to anything besides vinyls of unlabeled, obscure bands.
	uncyclopedia.org /wiki/You_have_two_cows/13 (1067 words)

	Cows With Guns Story
		In one of those Earthly occurrences that goes against all laws of physics, COWS WITH GUNS went to number 1 for the two weeks preceding Christmas '96 on Cellophane Square's Top 40 for the region of (slow building kettle drums) Seattle.
		While it was frustrating not to be able to go tour in Australia while COWS was doing so well, the miracle of having income while one is down and out did not escape me, and I felt quite blessed to have some dough during my time of healing.
		But my vision of a giant cow moving across the prairy with a stage on the roof and satellite technology of our own mobile TV station couldn’t be suppressed.
	www.cowswithguns.com /Cowstory.html (2720 words)

	The Southern Moo Cows
		Do you want a marching band, a group to keep your party up and moving, just background, or to play your group in and out for an "up tempo" awards or sales meeting?
		Indoors or outside and suitable for any event where fun is part of the deal.
		Cow mascot, plush cow toss and other give aways sold separately.
	www.moocowband.com /pages/southern.html (95 words)

	BAY AREA BAND • WEDDING BANDS
		This bay area band is one of the most educated bands in Northern California, with most members having a degree in music from various universities in the Bay Area.
		The band is sure to please all of your guests (all ages from 20 somethings to 90 years young) and keep them dancing for hours.
		The SBX Band is prepared with a Master of Ceremonies to help with announcements and make your party run smoothly.
	www.aclassyaffair.com /bayarea/band_bands/wedding/sbxband.htm (990 words)

	Yakima Herald Republic Online - Home Page - Yakima, Washington News, Classifieds, Information, Advertising (Site not responding. Last check: 2007-10-26)
		The Harsh Cows -- Andrew Long, 15, lead vocals and guitar; Sky Hilliard, 15, guitar; Taylor Klein, 15, keyboard and vocals; Jesse Hamlin, 15, bass; and Rachel Long, 21, drums -- are a local teen Christian alternative band from East Valley.
		Andrew describes their sound like this: "We're a Christian band with two guitars, a bass, drums, a keyboard, and two voices, who aren't looking to shove the message of God down your throats, but who are looking to encourage you to believe what you believe with all your heart.
		The Harsh Cows hope to someday perform at Creation Fest, a Christian music festival at the Gorge that they've all attended for several years, so they can "advance the kingdom of God, one person and one day at a time," Andrew says.
	www.yakima-herald.com /page/dis/287228583785396 (950 words)

	Mad Cows and Macrobiotics
		The spinal cord is severed with a band saw, spraying spinal cord fluid onto the carcass.
		It is fairly widely accepted that Mad Cow Disease is the result of feeding remnants of diseased tissue to livestock that are normally vegetarian animals.
		Rather than a disaster, Mad Cow Disease can be seen as a way to move people toward a healthier way of eating.
	www.macrobiotic.org /madcows.htm (1619 words)

	Article a5
		All the cows I've ever seen once they gain their freedom, seem to just wonder around the side of the road.
		If my cow has an accident it means a whole new livingroom carpet.
		Just four years ago a band of cows in England went mad and tried to take over the country.
	www.maynardville.com /article/a5.htm (787 words)

	The Dizzy Cows \| an alternative rock band
		The Dizzy Cows was comprised of 3 people mostly, although sometimes we had a 4th person join in as a rhythm guitarist.
		The "bunch" of guys I'm refering to also inludes all the groopies and friends that usually showed up at all our practices and house parties.
		The band members included Doug _____ (lead guitarist / writer / vocals), William _____ (bass guitarist / writer / vocals), Jason _____ (rhythm guitarist / writer / vocals), and myself, Darren ______(drums / writer / and background vocals).
	www.freewebs.com /thedizzycows (461 words)

	CD Baby: MAD COW STRING BAND: Live at the Delta of Venus
		The 16 tracks document a period of time in the band’s history where the boys could be found playing for approving audiences at coffee shops, dive bars, concert halls, and festival stages, including a tour throughout Europe.
		The Mad Cows celebrated the release of “Live at the Delta of Venus” at the beautiful Palms Playhouse in Winters, CA with a highly acclaimed Bay Area band, The Stairwell Sisters, and a sold-out house.
		This hometown record release show was the culmination of the first chapter for the band and signifies the next stage for the Mad Cow String Band as they continue to widen their ever growing fan base by pushing themselves creatively, musically and begin to tour extensively.
	cdbaby.com /cd/madcowsb (619 words)

	MySpace.com - Mad Cow String Band - DAVIS, California - Bluegrass - www.myspace.com/madcowstringband
		Mad Cow String Band's Crossbill Records release, "Live at the Delta of Venus" will be reviewed in the next issue of music mag, "The Big Takeover".
		On their debut recording Davis, CA’s Cows have the intense loose feel of a jug band, though they use a string bass rather than a jug for the bottom end.
		Recorded live with their fingers on fire and lots of talk about beer, the five of them trade off on banjo, mandolin, fiddle, bass, vocals and are joined by Keith Cary on lap steel.
	www.myspace.com /madcowstringband (1085 words)

	The Swirling Eddies : Sacred Cows Reviews
		Sacred Cows is definitely not an album for the serious types who can't take a joke.
		Attributing Zoom Daddy to impostors (the "real" Eddies were supposedly shipwrecked in 1993, the Year of the Cow), Camarillo Eddy goes on to state that upon their return, they wanted to reach the CCM radio audience with a loving tribute to the songs which have helped them.
		Sacred Cows is a must for all Eddies fans, and should be checked out by zealous fans of the artists whose work is lampooned here.
	www.danielamos.com /articles/rsacredcows.html (723 words)

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