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Topic: Valentine (movie)


  
  TNMC: Movie Reviews: Valentine   (Site not responding. Last check: 2007-10-09)
You know a movie is bad when I crack jokes, only to hear my words repeated back to me by the characters almost word for word a second later, only seriously.
Actually, to call this a movie is far too kind, it is more like a hour and a half worth of crap strung together to create a most effective torture device.
Valentine had none of the elements that make a slasher flick classic, and I for one hope to forget this awful monstrosity as soon as possible.
www.tnmc.org /valentine.html   (1477 words)

  
 Movie Review - Valentine - www.ericdsnider.com - The Official Website of Eric D. Snider
But the killer in "Valentine," whom we are led to understand is a former grade-school nerd seeking revenge on the girls who were once cruel to him, wears a mask.
The valentines say morbidly funny things like, "Roses are red, violets are blue/They'll need dental records to identify you," and the girls are freaked out but not, as yet, murdered.
The valentines are signed "JM," and the girls figure it might be Jeremy Melton, the skinny kid they all spurned in junior high.
www.ericdsnider.com /movies/valentine   (680 words)

  
 David Boreanaz: Valentine - Movie
Basically, "Valentine" is a story about a killer who seems to have been one of those nerds in school who is now out for revenge against the people who rejected him at one time...the only suspense is who is the murderer, but even that isn't too hard to figure out.
Indeed, "Valentine" is your typical slasher flick which is fairly predictable notwithstanding the writers and directors sincere attempt to create a mystery/suspense slasher flick.
It's the standard slasher movie where young kids are cruel to a peer and years later, he takes revenge on all of them.
www.superiorpics.com /david_boreanaz/movie/2001_valentine.html   (1409 words)

  
 Cinema Confidential Review: Valentine (2001)
"Valentine," like most recent teen slasher flicks, comes at a time when any movie with a stalker, a knife, a mask, and beautiful victims is considered a feeble effort to add momentum to an already tired teen slasher genre.
Granted, "Valentine" may be an exception due to the fact that it was based on a novel written by Tom Savage in 1996 (released before the first "Scream" film.) But the style and manner in which Jamie Blanks films this movie only strengthens critics' claims, making it harder to defend.
The movie opens with a flashback scene to a junior high school Valentine dance, where a group of spoiled, snobby girlfriends mock and turn down the class geek, Jeremy Milton.
www.cinecon.com /reviews/valentine.shtml   (655 words)

  
 Valentine (2001) Movie Review - The Hollywood News
I'm thinking to myself that at the very least, Valentine should be a pleasant throwback to those great slasher movies of the 80's.
Valentine opens with an all too familiar horror scenario in which a bunch of elementary school girls belittle the class nerd on Valentine's Day.
The director of Valentine has found a new way to screw up what used to be such a fun genre.
www.thehollywoodnews.com /reviews/archive/2001/valentine.php   (619 words)

  
 Valentine (2001)   (Site not responding. Last check: 2007-10-09)
"Valentine" is another horror movie to add to the stalk and slash movie list (think "Halloween", "Friday the 13th", "Scream", and "I Know What You Did Last Summer").
It certainly isn't as good as those movies that I have listed about, but it's better than most of the ripoffs that came out after the first "Friday the 13th" film.
The plot: a nerdy young boy is teased and pranked by a couple of his classmates at the beginning of the film.
www.imdb.com /Title?0242998   (479 words)

  
 Valentine Movie Review at Hollywood Video
Valentine's shoddy excuse for a story involves a quintet of girls who all went to the same San Francisco public schools (though their individual lodgings in subsequent scenes scream "private") who are being serially murdered by someone with a bloody ax to grind.
Valentine's murderers are really director Jamie Blanks, who directs with none of the minor flair he exhibited in the mildly entertaining Urban Legend, and the four — count 'em — writers, who couldn't come up with one interesting character, one good frightening moment, or one suspenseful scene.
The movie can be watched in English and French, and subtitles are available in those two languages, as well as in Spanish and Portuguese.
www.hollywoodvideo.com /movies/movie.aspx?MID=131650   (1673 words)

  
 Horror Movie Review | Valentine (2001) David Boreanaz, Denise Richards   (Site not responding. Last check: 2007-10-09)
Valentine's death scenes are not as gruesome as one would expect in a slasher film.
Another problem with Valentine is that we follow the 4 friends throughout the movie, but the majority of the killings before the slaughter at the end involves minor, peripheral characters that have little impact to the story.
One of the four friends is killed off early in the movie at a social gathering, falls down some stairs, and lands in a garbage dumpster at the lobby of the building.
www.beyondhollywood.com /reviews/valentine.htm   (1123 words)

  
 The Caveman's Valentine Movie Review on AudioRevolution.com
But with 'The Caveman's Valentine,' not only do director Kasi Lemmons and writer George Dawes Green (working from his own Edgar Award-winning novel) smoothly and entertainingly meet this challenge, but they present us with one of the most fascinating and unusual detectives in mystery fiction.
In any event, the point of the movie is not how Romulus got this way, but how he is going to solve the serious problem he's been presented with.
Stylistically, the movie is a bit over the top; it's okay that we share some of Romulus' hallucinations, as when colored beams stab out from the tower of the Chrysler Building.
www.avrev.com /movies/cavemansvalentine/index.html   (1030 words)

  
 Valentine
Valentine does not set itself apart from the hundreds of similar movies released in the years following Scream that tried to reap the benefits of rehashing the same formula.
The movie opens with a scene set at a junior high dance thirteen years ago, where the stereotypical nerdy kid asks all the cute girls in school to dance with him but gets shot down again and again.
Slasher movies like these have other tricks that commonly pop up, like the fake scare when the music swells and we think the killer’s about to strike… but then it turns out to be a cat or the wind or, in one scene in this movie, a tree.
www.vacuumboy9.com /moviereviews/valentine.html   (1170 words)

  
 TNMC Movies: Bad Movie News: Valentine   (Site not responding. Last check: 2007-10-09)
Valentine, though, is not as self-aware or as humorous and subsequently became an exercise in gruesome violence.
Near the end of Valentine, there's a very familiar image of a woman's blood swirling down a shower drain after "the cherub" murders her.
Valentine won't be the worst movie of its kind; some might even enjoy watching it in their dorm rooms with a bunch of friends late at night.
www.tnmc.org /news/0819002.html   (432 words)

  
 The 11th Hour Web Magazine - Movie Review - Valentine
Valentine is overly aware of this appeal, which makes it less scary and more schizophrenic as it tries to keep the killer's identity a secret.
By the end of the film, they've jerked you around enough that you just won't care, and considering the way the film ends, you may find yourself still befuddled even when they seem to be spelling it out for you.
The female leads are all vapid airheads who don't seem to have jobs, families, lives, or any sort of interests outside of their sex lives.
www.the11thhour.com /archives/022001/moviereviews/valentine.html   (694 words)

  
 The Caveman's Valentine: Cinephiles Movie Review
Although The Caveman's Valentine mainly focuses on depicting the difficulties Romulus encounters as an outcast who tries to solve a murder, the film also explores the character's relationship to Art as he confronts his suspect.
In addition, this notion maintains that the caveman's "valentine" refers to Romulus' heartfelt wish of capturing a killer and reclaiming justice as a gift to his family and to society.
Thus, The Caveman's Valentine may be viewed as an imperfect attempt to find visual and narrative representations of the themes involving the questionable and often abused definitions of Art.
www.cinephiles.net /The_Cavemans_Valentine/Film-Synopsis.html   (534 words)

  
 Valentine: Movie-Source.com Valentine Movie, Valentine Preview, Valentine Review
As for Valentine, a horror movie that leaves the teenage group and moves to the slightly more upscale (and, I guess, sexier) twenty-something age group, it is packed with stupidity, but at least it's entertaining.
Like most horror movies, Valentine is filled with a gorgeous cast, although the story at least builds that in a little bit, since a kid from ten years ago has returned to kill the popular people that were mean to him.
Valentine cannot and should not be considered a great film, but if you have a couple of hours to spare, it can't do any harm.
www.movie-source.com /movie_page.asp?movieID=1236   (591 words)

  
 Valentine (film) - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia (via CobWeb/3.1 planetlab2.cs.unc.edu)   (Site not responding. Last check: 2007-10-09)
Valentine is a 2001 horror film directed by Jamie Blanks, who had directed Urban Legend.
Shelley turns down his offer of returning to his house because she has a final to take for her class in college (she is studying to be a surgeon).
She decides to do some cramming for her exam in the morgue, where the killer makes his or her first appearance, in a cupid mask that bears similarities to Michael Myers from the Halloween series.
en.wikipedia.org.cob-web.org:8888 /wiki/Valentine_(film)   (1760 words)

  
 Movie Review: Valentine: From two points of view
A: This movie is about five girls who made fun of this geeky kid in the sixth grade.
R: I must say, at the beginning of this movie, I most closely identified with the poor kid who was turned down by everyone he asked to dance.
Scary movies are always less scary when you see them at one o’clock in the afternoon.
www.northern.edu /exponent/archive/2001/0214/ae/0214-valentine.htm   (452 words)

  
 Valentine - zBoneman Movie Reviews
I think it just copied that 80's movie and well its not even scary the only damn suspensful thing in it is who is the killer but beside that it sucked.
Whether or not it was actually possible for him to be the killer and for her to be wearing the cupid mask is irrelevant.
This movie was the worst movie i ever saw the producers must have been high when they thought of this movie.
www.zboneman.com /movies/Valentine-221.html   (1145 words)

  
 VALENTINE - movie reviews   (Site not responding. Last check: 2007-10-09)
VALENTINE tries to demonstrate that love just doesn¹t hurt, it can kill.
VALENTINE is all about scare, of the funhouse variety.
There was more gore and on screen violence in the comedy ³Scary Movie.² One of the all time greatest special effects studios, KNB EFX Group, known for their remarkable sequences only has a credit for the cupid mask design.
www.fearsmag.com /REVIEWS/movies/valentine/Valentine.htm   (461 words)

  
 CANOE -- JAM! Movies - Valentine Review - My crummy Valentine
Valentine starts out innocently enough with the vicious ridicule and beating of a junior high school nerd at a Valentine's dance.
Valentine is a slow-moving, predictable movie that closely resembles the Scream and Urban Legend movies.
Valentine sticks closely to Hollywood formula, not revealing the killer's identity until the end.
jam.canoe.ca /Movies/Reviews/V/Valentine/2001/02/03/754643.html   (423 words)

  
 Valentine Movie Review by Anthony Leong from MediaCircus.net
Directed by Jamie Blanks, who found moderate success in the post-"Scream" era with the mildly interesting "Urban Legend", "Valentine" is the latest nail in the coffin of the Nineties' teen horror revival.
The movie's prologue sets up the premise-- a geeky sixth grader named Jeremy Melton is publicly humiliated by a group of girls at a Valentine's Day dance during the Eighties, which includes being soaked in punch, à la "Carrie".
Like every other 'slasher movie' made before this one, "Valentine" is an endless parade of young women alone in the dark who are led to their deaths by strange noises, aided by their penchant for doing stupid things, such as walking backwards into the arms of the killer.
www.mediacircus.net /valentine.html   (612 words)

  
 Valentine - Movie   (Site not responding. Last check: 2007-10-09)
Valentine's Day 1988: At the school dance, geeky Jeremy Melton bravely faces one rejection after the other when asking four popular girls to dance with him.
After a disastrous date with a loser, one of the girls, a pre-med student, is murdered by a Cherub-mask wearing killer who sent her a death threat in the form of a Valentine card prior to the attack.
Who ever it is, the lone survivor has to put a stop to this spurned individual's murder spree before she, too, becomes a valentine to die for.
www.biggeststars.com /DisplayMovie.do?id=1672   (467 words)

  
 Valentine movie Review at The Z Review UK movie review
Valentine takes all of these things to heart, as a crazed killer has decided the time is right to take out his former grade school sweeties, permanently.
I expect a 'Director's Cut' of Valentine will be available when it's released on home video, since there are a couple scenes that also seem to be missing from this film.
So, ignoring the fact that horror movie killers appear to be running out of holidays to ruin, Valentine actually isn't too bad.
www.thezreview.co.uk /reviews/v/valentine.htm   (398 words)

  
 A.J.'s Movie Reviews - Valentine
To tie in the holiday, the psycho's victims each receive a morbid Valentine's Day card, and the killer wears a creepy cupid mask.
One of the neat things about this movie is that the characters are all fairly certain who the killer is, but haven't seen the person in years, so they have no idea what the killer looks like.
Jamie Blanks does a decent job of directing, and the quality of acting is what you would expect from the slasher film genre.
www.homestead.com /ajsplacemovies/review_valentine.html   (264 words)

  
 Valentine (2001) Movie Review by Steven Taylor at The Movie Insider   (Site not responding. Last check: 2007-10-09)
So I went and saw Jamie Blanks new movie Valentine loosely based on a popular novel, and I must say it is a nice breath of fresh air away from the teeny bopper horror films.
It cuts to the two making out under the bleachers, while a group of boys catches them the girl claims this boy attacked her, and the group of boys take him, strip him of his clothes and beat him up.
"Valentine" is a highly entertaining, lively movie that from the opening sequence had great potential.
www.themovieinsider.com /mr7-valentine-movie-review.html   (579 words)

  
 Valentine   (Site not responding. Last check: 2007-10-09)
Valentine is basically a formulaic throwback to conventional pre-Scream slasher flicks.
Who woulda figured that this movie would be, and I hate to say it...
Valentine isn't scary, but it is unsettling; not ultimately satisfying, but arresting in the moment.
www.rottentomatoes.com /m/valentine/?critic=columns   (842 words)

  
 Movie Review:
There were times in the movie where I wanted Hugh Grant’s character to step off of the curb and get run over by a bus.  Not that I’m that morbid, I just wanted the plot to get shaken up a bit.
Ashton Kutcher is hilarious and they barely tapped the potential of where this movie could have gone.  It seemed like the film-makers had a hard time deciding what kind of movie they were making, whether it was a comedy with romantic parts or the other way around.
Isn’t weird how movies with plots like this always have a positive outcome?  The only time you see a guy choose his fiancée’s cousin instead is on shows of Jerry Springer caliber and you know how those end.
www.northern.edu /exponent/archive/2003/0205/ae/0205-movie.htm   (654 words)

  
 Caveman's Valentine, The: Movie-Source.com Caveman's Valentine, The Movie, Caveman's Valentine, The Preview, Caveman's ...
Movie Review (B) Samuel L. Jackson is one of the best actors of the modern age, and he delivers one of the best performances of his career, worthy of an Academy Award, in The Caveman's Valentine.
Jackson is so powerful that he makes the audience overlook the fact that they are watching a really weird movie where the main character is a psychotic homeless man who rants about a man trying to take over the world and has winged men floating around in his head.
Yes, The Caveman's Valentine is a strange movie, and a risky one at that.
www.movie-source.com /movie_page.asp?movieID=243   (594 words)

  
 VALENTINE - Main Movie Page...CinemaReview.com....Movie Reviews, Movie Contents, Moviegoer Opinions and Much More!
It's okay for the story not to make sense, for the actors to be wooden, and for the blood to look like ketchup, as long as there's some fun to be had.
But, no matter what, the movie should never aspire to what Valentine achieves and be touted as a cure for insomnia.
If you are a BIG fan of this type of movie, then you might enjoy it, as some did, but your chances aren't very good.
www.cinemareview.com /main.asp?movieid=269902   (428 words)

  
 Movie Spoiler for the film -VALENTINE
In her locker she finds a valentine card that's kind of threatening and implies that she'll get her neck cut open.
At her funeral the rest of her friends are there along with a detective asking everyone questions.
The other 3 girls figure she left early and since they didn't hear from her for a few days, they figure she must have gone to LA on business.
www.themoviespoiler.com /Spoilers/valentine.html   (1153 words)

  
 My Bloody Valentine - Moviefone
Synopsis: It's Valentine's Day in the tiny mining town of Valentine's Bluff, Nova Scotia, and for the first time in two decades the residents are planning a...
This movie even has its own version of "Crazy Ralph" from "Friday the 13th" in the form of...
The movie is also infamous for having 9 minutes cut by the MPAA,...
movies.aol.com /movie/my-bloody-valentine/1024227/main   (195 words)

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