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Topic: Vogon poetry

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	Vogon poetry - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
		Vogon Poetry is poetry written by Vogons, a fictional race in Douglas Adams' The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.
		Vogon poetry is of course, the third worst in the universe.
		A second example of Vogon poetry was found in the Hitchhiker's Guide interactive fiction game that was produced by Infocom.
	en.wikipedia.org /wiki/Vogon_poetry (0 words)

	Vogon - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
		Through sheer obstinacy, though, the Vogons survived, wrecked the planet, and emigrated en masse to the Brantisvogon star cluster, where they form most of the Galactic bureaucracy, most notably in the famous Vogon Constructor Fleets (which allows them a socially-acceptable way to spend their time demolishing things).
		They are known to make the third worst poetry in the universe (see Vogon poetry).
		Vogons are the worst marksmen in the Universe, according to Marvin in the film version.
	en.wikipedia.org /wiki/Vogon (0 words)

	Vogon - TheBestLinks.com - Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Vogon poetry, Minor characters from The ... (Site not responding. Last check: 2007-09-20)
		Vogon - TheBestLinks.com - Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Vogon poetry, Minor characters from The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy,...
		Vogon, Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Vogon poetry, Minor...
		The captain of the destructor fleet is Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz.
	www.thebestlinks.com /Vogon.html (0 words)

	Vogon - TheBestLinks.com - Vogons, Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Vogon poetry, ... (Site not responding. Last check: 2007-09-20)
		Vogons, Vogon, Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Vogon...
		Most of the Vogons that appear in the series work in the Vogon Constructor Fleet, a job which allows them a socially-acceptable way to spend their time demolishing things.
		Vogons are known to make the third worse poetry in universe (see Vogon poetry)
	www.thebestlinks.com /Vogons.html (0 words)

	Language Log: This isn't poetry, this is abuse
		Take Vogon poetry, for example (it is the third worst in the world according to The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy).
		It is well known that Vogon poetry has been used as torture.
		Perhaps the BBC's robot mechanism for emailing randomly generated Vogon poems could be used to give the company in question a taste of their own medicine.
	itre.cis.upenn.edu /~myl/languagelog/archives/000340.html (0 words)

	HHGTTGOnline.com - Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz Character Biography - Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy
		Vogon poetry is, of course, the third worst in the universe, and is quite torturous when forced to listen to it.
		Often, those who are unfortunate enough to be the audience for a reading of Jeltz's poetry do so in Vogon Poetry Appreciation Readiness Positions, which basically means that they are chained to something so that they cannot escape during the recital.
		The character of Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz was played by Martin Benson in the TV series, and is played by William Todd Jones in the 2005 big budget Disney movie.
	www.hhgttgonline.com /html/jeltz.html (0 words)

	Poetry
		Poetry was designed to be used in cryptographic applications.
		Poetry is implemented as a Windows CE stream device and therefore can be accessed with the usual CreateFile/ReadFile/CloseHandle sequence.
		Poetry's design is loosely based on the source code example to Counterpane's Yarrow pseudorandom number generator.
	www.symbolictools.de /public/pocketconsole/applications/Poetry/poetry_v2.htm (0 words)

	BBC - h2g2 - How to survive Vogon poetry
		Vogon poetry can be lethal, and there are two ways you can survive.
		If you need to be able to communicate so that the Vogon does not notice you have stuffed your ears with some dense substance, you should also learn to read lips.
		This means you will have to concentrate on the eyes of the Vogon and judge when the Vogon has read the poem and you should speak.
	www.bbc.co.uk /dna/h2g2/A201600 (0 words)

	The HHG Project - Vogons
		They wouldn't even lift a finger to save their own grandmothers from the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal without orders signed in triplicate, sent in, sent back, queried, lost, found, subjected to public inquiry, lost again, and finally buried in soft peat for three months and recycled as firelighters.
		Vogons have dark green rubbery skin, waterproof enough to survive indefinitely at sea depths of down to a thousand feet with no ill effects.
		They write some of the worst poetry in the known universe.
	hhgproject.org /entries/vogons.html (0 words)

	WEBSTER.OCX BETA BUILD 913 For Windows NT and Windows 95 Readme (Site not responding. Last check: 2007-09-20)
		Vogon demonstrates Webster's basic display, browsing and event features only, and is not a full-blown OLE control container.
		Vogon Poetry exhibits the usual MDI app characteristics, including the ability to serialize a document.
		Vogon is an MSVC 1.52/2.1 application which can be built for either 16- or 32-bit platforms.
	www.wi-inf.uni-essen.de /~schwarze/win95/readmes/wbstr913.html (0 words)

	Crichtonisms
		This might be stretching a bit, but this struck me as a reference to 'Vogon poetry' from Hitchiker's Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams.
		Vogon Poetry is the most notoriously bad poetry in the known universe (even worse than greeting card poetry).
		A "masterpiece" of Vogon poetry is "Ode to a Small Lump of Green Putty I Found in My Armpit One Midsummer Morning" by Master Grunthos the Flatulent.
	www.crichtonisms.com /01bone.shtml (0 words)

	it comes in pints?: On Poetry
		I used to go to local poetry readings often, until it occured to me that 99% of the people that offer their work at these readings haven't the vaguest idea what in the hell they are doing.
		Poetry is just as much about language and sound as it is emotion.
		Poetry is a skill and an art - and just because you have deep feelings and write them down doesn't make it art.
	www.secondbreakfast.net /archives/000114.html (0 words)

	Poetic justice - Uncyclopedia
		Lord Justice Prostetnic Vogon Denning, of the 189th Circuit Court, at the other end of the galaxy.
		In court, for example, the defendant, plaintiff, justice, lawyers and jury all have to perform the whole trial in poetry or in rhyming prose.
		The best poetic justices and lawyers are Vogons as their poetry, even in judicial language, is the second best poetry in the galaxy.
	uncyclopedia.org /wiki/Poetic_Justice (0 words)

	The Alien Poetry Society - Vogon Poetry 1
		This influential Vogon work has been translated and duly abridged so as not to cause any permanent harm to the reader.
		While this has come at considerable expense to the translator’s sanity, the most deleterious effects have been defrayed by using other people’s brains for the bulk of the translation.
		Their minds tend to simply suppress any memory of the incident or replace it with the memory of something more pleasant, like getting a full physical examination from a hostile alien race.
	www.geocities.com /Area51/Underworld/8446/vogon-1.html (0 words)

	BBC - Cult - Hitchhiker's - Vogon Poetry Generator
		A sample of the third worst poetry in the world, delivered to your inbox.
		Your Poem will be sent to you using the 'Vogon Poetry Generator' facility on the BBC Online site, http://www.bbc.co.uk/hitchhikers/.
		The BBC is not responsible for the content of this email, and anything said in this email does not necessarily reflect the BBC's views.
	www.bbc.co.uk /cult/hitchhikers/vogonpoetry/lettergen.shtml (136 words)

	Compare Prices and Read Reviews on The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy at Epinions.com (Site not responding. Last check: 2007-09-20)
		Of course, this discussion becomes pointless, as minutes later, the Earth itself is demolished by Vogons to make space for a hyperspatial space route.
		The Guide is a small electronic book with two sage words of advice for any space traveler printed on its cover: "Don't Panic." Ford's job is reporting for said guide, and his stay on Earth was just an assignment he received.
		Vogon poetry is the third-worst poetry in the world (behind Azgoth poetry and the poetry of Paula Nancy Millstone Jennings), and it serves as an extremely effective torture device, especially with electronic enhancement of certain lines.
	www.epinions.com /content_65414401668 (0 words)

	Chapter 7 (Site not responding. Last check: 2007-09-20)
		Vogons suffered no illusions as to the regard their works were generally held in.
		Their early attempts at composition had been part of bludgeoning insistence that they be accepted as a properly evolved and cultured race, but now the only thing that kept them going was sheer bloodymindedness.
		The Vogon raised a surprised eyebrow that effectively obscured his nose and was therefore no bad thing.
	www.globusz.com /ebooks/Hitchhikers/00000018.htm (0 words)

	h1.rtf
		They brought forth scintillating jewelled scuttling crabs, which the Vogons ate, smashing their shells with iron mallets; tall aspiring trees with breathtaking slenderness and colour which the Vogons cut down and burned the crab meat with; elegant gazelle- like creatures with silken coats and dewy eyes which the Vogons would catch and sit on.
		Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz was a fairly typical Vogon in that he was thoroughly vile.
		The Dentrassis are an unruly tribe of gourmands, a wild but pleasant bunch whom the Vogons had recently taken to employing as catering staff on their long haul fleets, on the strict understanding that they keep themselves very much to themselves.
	opossum.rat.at /~anno/DA/H1.html (0 words)

	BBC Online - Cult - Hitchhiker's - Guide - Poetry
		Poetry, well written, can be a spiritually uplifting experience.
		The third worst poetry in the universe is written by Vogons, and frequently used as a form of torture.
		Examples of good, if long, poetry can be heard on the planet of Golgafrincham, home to the great circling poets of Arium.
	www.bbc.co.uk /cult/hitchhikers/guide/poetry.shtml (0 words)

	Vogon Poetry (Site not responding. Last check: 2007-09-20)
		One of the panels which caught my attention was the Vogon Poetry Contest.
		The student apparently only noticed the Poetry part of the panel name, and thought he'd bring in some of his poetry and talk about it.
		He thought since he's written poetry in school, he'd be a shoo-in for the first prize.
	www.andrewmp.com /vogon.htm (0 words)

	Vogon Poetry Contest
		Description: "Vogon poetry is of course the third worst in the Universe." --
		For all of those of you who have read the great 5 book trilogy by Douglas Adams, you know that Vogon poetry is pretty bad.
		Almost any Vogon poem is worthy of posting here, so this has become a "if you can follow the rules, you win" contests.
	www.trevorstone.org /contests/vogon.html (0 words)

	Vl'hurg extra-terrestrial poetry evening
		Although apparently discouraging, we think that in fact this is a reasonable commendation, since "Vogon" in their language means (we think) "very attractive Kirilififian of the opposite sex" (though it has to be said that this interpretation raises a few problems since, as far as we know, there was only one Kirilififian sex).
		"Poetry" is, in the most general sense, a set of acoustic wave patterns, or optically communicated codes which cause spontaneous dialysis of t-RNA molecules in the nervous systems of various kinds of life-forms which contain their enzyme production codes in the double helix.
		Although it is often understood that "poetry" is only possible for primates, recent research has shown that almost anything advanced enough to replicate its own DNA is capable of this.
	www.cgoakley.demon.co.uk /vlhurgs/etpeinv.html (0 words)

	Aboard the Vogon Ship (Site not responding. Last check: 2007-09-20)
		The Vogon Captain is about to read you his favorite poem.
		Because you have already flipped the switch on the glass case and listened to the recording, you know that you'll have to listen to the second verse of the poem in order to get the atomic vector plotter.
		You want to ENJOY THE POETRY, any time between when the Captain begins the poetry reading and when he completes the end of the first verse.
	www.csd.uwo.ca /Infocom/Invisiclues/hhgg/chapter2/AboardtheVogonShip11/8.html (0 words)

	Vogon - Art History Online Reference and Guide (Site not responding. Last check: 2007-09-20)
		Later on in the book series, we learn that, far back in prehistory, when the first primeval Vogons crawled out of the sea, the forces of evolution were so digusted with them that they never allowed them to evolve again.
		Somehow, though, the Vogons survived, wrecked the planet, and emigrated en masse to the Brantisvogon star cluster, where they form most of the Galactic bureaucracy, most notably in the famous Vogon Constructor Fleets (which allows them a socially-acceptable way to spend their time demolishing things).
		Vogons are known to make the third worst poetry in the universe (see Vogon poetry).
	www.arthistoryclub.com /art_history/Vogon (0 words)

	IGN: The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Vogon Planet Destructor
		Vogon Planet Destructor is a top-down shooter loosely connected to the movie, save for a few in-game power-ups that bear the name of items from the book.
		As the pilot of a Vogon demolition ship, you must destroy five planets in order to complete a hyperspace highway.
		The game is divided up into five segments (one for each planet) that consist of five short top-down sequences and then a 3D-esque gate-crashing run en route to the actual planet slated for demolition.
	wireless.ign.com /objects/740/740786.html (0 words)

	b3ta.com talk (Site not responding. Last check: 2007-09-20)
		ogon poetry is of course, the third worst in the universe.
		The very worst poetry of all perished along with its creator, Paula Nancy Millstone Jennings of Greenbridge, Essex, England, in the destruction of the planet Earth.
		based her (the Essex woman) on a real person who was crap at poetry.
	www.b3ta.com /talk/509914 (0 words)

	Elbonia - Uncyclopedia
		The language C, in fact, is named after Elbonian scientist Leonardo_Da_Vinci, as is the grade C (i.e.
		Da Vinci was officially zombified in 5 A.P. for failing to recite Vogon poetry correctly.
		Recently, Elbonia has made important bussines with the Dilbert company, having arrested their pointy haired boss for dancing on a tutu and destroying a national monument.
	uncyclopedia.org /wiki/Elbonia (0 words)

	Colgate Kicks Out Fraternity for Hazing (for reading poetry to hazees?!) (Site not responding. Last check: 2007-09-20)
		In 2001, Delta Kappa Epsilon fraternity was shut down for a year for serving alcohol to the driver in a crash that killed four people.
		Hmmm, this is the first time I've heard of poetry reading as hazing.
		I remember poetry being a part of my college fraternity experience - but the poetry was all in the form of limericks chanted out loud at drinking parties.
	www.freerepublic.com /focus/f-news/1026413/posts (0 words)

	Excursions in Vogon Poetry Analysis
		Excursions in Vogon Poetry Analysis, from Untitled(thankfully) by Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz.
		Unlike Yeats, though, this is not so disappointing, as Vogon poetry is somewhat more consistently atrocious.
		The double use of the word bleem dilutes this line, along with the actual word asunder--although asunder is included in a lot of bad poetry, that bad poetry is generally maudlin.
	www.geocities.com /SoHo/Exhibit/2762/vogons.htm (0 words)

	Language Log: Micturation in Vogon Poetry
		namely its occurrence in Vogon poetry [WARNING: this link leads to examples of Vogon poetry.
		Since Vogon poetry is full of words that are either very rare or non-existent I suppose that Adams' use of micturation adds marginally to my point that it is a rare, high-falutin word, but it isn't worth an awful lot as evidence.
		Since being forced to listen to Vogon poetry is an established form of torture (in The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy), I thought that the addition of this marginal bit of evidence was not worth the trauma it would inflict on readers with any literary taste.
	itre.cis.upenn.edu /~myl/languagelog/archives/002565.html (0 words)

	Abertay University Dundee Bookscapes
		When captured by the Vogon captain they are given a terrible choice.
		The guide book tells us that Vogon poetry is the third worst poetry in the universe.
		Enough to turn the Vogon captain green with envy (unless that was his normal skin colour anyway).
	www.booktrust.org.uk /bookscapes/abertay (0 words)

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