
	Where results make sense

Topic: You have two cows

Related Topics

Dead baby jokes

Cow tipping

Joke

Internet humor

Internet humour

Island Joke

Lightbulb joke (university)

Shit happens

Tucows

List of reference tables

Lightbulb joke

Lists of articles by category

Honor system virus

Cattle

Ox

In the News (Thu 3 Dec 09)

Northern Trust

Marvin Harrison

Peter Chernin

Gary Locke

Match Play

Penelope Cruz

Mickey Rourke

AR Rahman

Danny Boyle

Hugh Jackman

	You have two cows/17 - Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
		Hey, "You go to war with the cows you have, not the cows you wish you had." Your cows are the best in the world at what they were trained to do and immediately graze away the existing pasture-al structure of that country.
		The French cow complains it is being oppressed by the English cow, and threatens to leave the farm.
		You have two cows after North Korean government conducted an attempt to introduce a lesser form of capitalism around the cities that are near to the Chinese border.
	uncyclopedia.org /wiki/You_have_two_cows/17 (7394 words)

	You have two cows
		The "two cows" parodies however, place the cow-owner in a full-fledged economic system where cows are used as a metaphor for all currency, capital, means of production, etc. The intent is often to point out flaws and absurdities in those systems.
		As such, the first "two cows" jokes were meant to compare opposing economic systems such as capitalism and communism, typically by describing how the government and bureaucracy would interfere with one's quiet enjoyment of one's cows.
		Because of their freedom and universality of topics, "two cows" jokes are sometimes considered a good example of "cross-cultural humor".
	www.teachtime.com /en/wikipedia/y/yo/you_have_two_cows.html (3113 words)

	You have two cows. The government.... from TheCapitol.Net. YouHave2Cows.com
		Meanwhile, you kill the two cows because the feng shui is bad.
		MARXISM/LENINISM: The proletarian cows unite and overthrow the bourgeoisie cowherds.
		The only method to milk a cow is to have a cow on one side of a curtain and a guy milking the cow on the other side.
	www.thecapitol.net /Recommended/twocows.htm (2207 words)

	Two Cows tell us about religion
		You have two cows but you don't know where they are.
		You think you have two cows, but you don't know what a cow looks like.
		You have 5000 cows, none of which belongs to you.
	www.psych.upenn.edu /~mims/FUNNY/twocowreligion.html (336 words)

	You have two cows/8 - Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
		You vote for two cows, a president and a vice president, based entirely on popularity and the attractiveness of their cowspots.
		You had two cows, but due to a server crash (and lack of proper backup) they are yours no longer.
		I HAVE TWO COWS AND YOU DON'T HAHA LOLLERS!
	www.uncyclopedia.org /wiki/You_have_two_cows/8 (549 words)

	Two Cows an Economics Joke at Jokes.Net
		EUROPEAN FEDERALISM: You have two cows which cost too much money to care for because everybody is buying milk imported from some cheap east-European country and would never pay the fortune you'd have to ask for your cows' milk.
		For concerned families with small babies you claim that the milk is "bio", though you collect the grass for feeding at the side of the highway and you keep the milk in plastic barrels used previously as containers of dangerous chemicals.
		Later, your neighbor or anybody from town will steal the cows and will buy their meat for a high price, and if you ask for a receipt, you will be charged for a two times higher price.
	www.jokes.net /twocows.htm (880 words)

	You have two cows/7 - Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
		You have two cows, neither of which know where the tea is.
		You had two cows, but then you beamed them down and couldn't beam them up again because of obscuring Pallathean energy mists.
		One cow asks the other cow to push him off the building, and when he does, the first cow seriously regrets it.
	www.uncyclopedia.org /wiki/You_have_two_cows/7 (354 words)

	[No title]
		In many instances a cow or a bull was used for sacrifices to gods and it was not something to own, but later, it began to change.
		Anarchism -- If you have 2 cows, your neighbor on your left takes one cow, and the one on the right takes the other; while your backyard neighbor takes the milk, the bucket and the stool.
		They are keeping cows happy by spraying them with chemicals against flies and mosquitoes, which in turn goes into the water supplies.
	www.essay.org /school/english/beef.doc (1099 words)

	Needed: More "Two Cows" Jokes: Archive Entry From Brad DeLong's Webjournal
		Two freepers show up, make rude comments, then go back and tell all their thousands of freeper friends how stupid the liberal cows are.
		You have two cows, but their value as milk producers is diminished because cows in SE Asia are producing milk for much less.
		You feel guilty for having cows and go to confession; your parish priest tells you that having cows is not in and of itself a sin in the eyes of God, but if you are feeling guilty about it, perhaps you should free the cows and say ten Hail Marys.
	www.j-bradford-delong.net /movable_type/2004_archives/000384.html (8054 words)

	Political Cows
		You force the cows to produce the milk of four cows.
		You spin an announcement to the analysts stating you have downsized and are reducing expenses.
		Most are at the top of their class at cow school.
	www.michaelallsup.com /political_cows.htm (490 words)

	Corporations and Cows (Site not responding. Last check: )
		You force the 2 cows to produce the milk of four cows.
		You have two cows but you don't know where they are.
		You lay one off, force your remaining cow to produce the milk of 6 cows, while performing the work of a bull and a cow, which will help pay for LEAN milking machines that are ISO 14001 certified.
	www.wilk4.com /humor/humorm269.htm (445 words)

	Forums - How Many Cows Do You Have?
		In a democracy, you have two cows, the cows outvote you 2-1 to ban all meat and dairy products, and you go bankrupt and starve to death.
		Two guys the size of sumo wrestlers have saddled up the cows and are riding them around the farmyard.
		He pledges the cow to his cousin as collateral in a swap for some of his cousin's goats.
	elitetrader.com /vb/showthread.php?threadid=86845 (903 words)

	Two Cows (Site not responding. Last check: )
		You have two cows, The government takes them both and provides you with milk.
		You have two cows, You sell one, force the other to produce the milk of four cows, then act surprised when it drops dead.
		You have two cows, the government taxes you to the point that you must sell them both in order to support a man in a foreign country that has only one cow which was a gift from your government.
	www.angelfire.com /va/rock/twocows.html (143 words)

	You have two cows. \| MetaFilter
		Secondly, even were that ban to be enforced 100%, there are still cows legally eating cow byproducts as we speak, in the form of cow blood and downer cows-into-chicken-feed-into-litter-into-cow-feed.
		The U.S. cow in question tested positive last week on two so-called rapid tests manufactured by Bio-Rad Laboratories in Hercules, Calif. The USDA said Tuesday the animal had tested negative on more sophisticated confirmatory tests called immunohistochemistry or IHC tests.
		OK, there were apparently two negative IHC tests, not one, according to the Houston Chronicle, which would jibe with the earlier Steve Mitchell version, though it's still damning that they didn't announce the "experimental" IHC results or even let anyone know they'd been done.
	www.metafilter.com /mefi/43032 (4010 words)

	cows (Site not responding. Last check: )
		You share two of the cows with your neighbor.
		The Chinese cow is lead out of the arena and shot by Chinese government officials, though no one ever hears about it.
		The corporate management uses your purchase price to acquire THEIR meat from cows raised "naturally" on tree-free rain forest land outside of the country where labor and resources are cheap.
	www.msjhs.org /staff/brunak/cows.html (432 words)

	Cow-isms
		Fascism -- If you have 2 cows, you keep the cows but give the milk to the government, who then sells you the milk at a high price.
		Capitalism -- (Reaganomics) If you have 2 cows, you sell one and buy a bull; you then sell all the excess milk to the government who in turn ships it to fascist and communist governments.
		Anarchism -- If you have 2 cows, your neighbor on your left takes one cow, and the one on the right takes the other; while your backyard neighbor takes the milk, the bucket and the stool.
	www.geocities.com /good_clean_fun_2/cow-isms.htm (429 words)

	You have two cows - Wikipedia » Propeller
		Money –; "You have two cows" is the beginning phrase for a series of political joke definitions.
		"You have two cows" jokes originated as a parody of typical introductory-level economics course material examples featuring a farmer in a moneyless society, using his cattle and produce to trade with his neighbors.
		Visit AOL Money for the latest market news, stock quotes, the web's best online portfolio manager and help with every aspect of personal finance.
	www.netscape.com /story/2006/08/05/you-have-two-cows-wikipedia (108 words)

	Politics Made Easy: The Two Cows Philosophy
		After the election, the president is impeached for speculating in cow futures.
		The milk rights of six cows are transferred via a Panamanian intermediary to a Cayman Isands company secretly owned by the majority shareholder, who sells the rights to all seven cows' milk back to the listed company.
		Meanwhile, you kill the two cows because the Feng Shui is bad.
	www.weirdity.com /jokes/two-cows.shtml (571 words)

	POLITICAL JOKES FUN GOVERNMENT HUMOUR ALTERNATIVE COMEDY (Site not responding. Last check: )
		You have two cows (and their two little calves that arrived by boat from a war torn country).
		The government then bans illegal cows from setting foot on sacrad Australian soil and pays $1 billion in aid to poor countries to get rid of the illegal cow problem.
		You give the fl cow's milk to the white cow to drink and don't milk the white cow.
	www.radisol.com /cows/political.htm (616 words)

	Madame Chiang: Two Cows....
		You sell off their milk before the cows have even been milked to both legit and shady investors who hope to resale the nonexistent milk for a 100% profit in two years time.
		Since milking the cow involves nipples the Gov't decides to ban all cows in public.
		The only method to milk a cow is to have a cow on one side of a curtain and a guy milking the cow on the other or to hire females and train them to milk the cows...
	mdmechiang.blogspot.com /2006/01/two-cows.html (446 words)

	Cows Explain Politics
		The milk rights of six cows are transferred via a Panamanian intermediary to a Cayman Isands company secretly owned by the majority shareholder, who sells the rights to all seven cows' milk back to the listed company.
		Bureaucracy, American-Style: You have two cows but you have to kill one of them because the government will only give you a license for one of them.
		When the drugs cause one of the cows to drop dead you announce to the press that you have down-sized, reducing expenses by 50 percent.
	www.extremelysmart.com /humor/cowsexplain.php (1439 words)

	Humour — Cows and World Order
		The cow sues you for breach of contract.
		The milk rights of six cows are transferred via a Panamanian intermediary to a Cayman Islands company secretly owned by the majority shareholder, who sells the right to all seven.
		You are associated with (the concept of 'ownership' is a symbol of the phallocentric, warmongering, intolerant past) two differently aged (but no less valuable to society) bovines of non- specified gender.
	www.jlittlewood.com /discuss/humour/cows.htm (404 words)

	Political Philosophy 101 - Two Cows
		Meanwhile, you kill the two cows because the fung shui is bad.
		You are associated with (the concept of "ownership" is a symbol of the phallocentric, warmongering, intolerant past) two differently-aged (but no less valuable to society) bovines of nonspecified gender.
		The courts deem your cows inherently dangerous and order you to provide free milk to anyone who has ever been frightened by a farm animal.
	www.business.uiuc.edu /broker/twocows.htm (609 words)

	YoungAfrican.Com - Economics... (Site not responding. Last check: )
		You have two cows, you borrow two cows.
		You insist the cows are sacred and its bad to touch the cows.
		You claim that the Indian cows belong to you.
	www.youngafrican.com /yaforum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=12014 (750 words)

	A tale of two cows (Site not responding. Last check: )
		Soon your daughter cow is coming home with a little calf of her own.
		After a big march in the city, you have to go to the police station to bail out the dissident cow after it threw dung-filled balloons at the riot police.
		We have acquired two genetically enhanced cows from the alien ambassadors.
	www.radisol.com /cows/misc.htm (667 words)

	Print Page - ...YOU HAVE TWO COWS...
		Instead of giving your neighbor one of your cows, you write to your congressman, demanding that he pass legislation for more government programs to help your neighbor get a cow.
		The government taxes you to the point you have to sell both of your cows to support a man in a foreign country who only has one cow, which was a gift from your government.
		You force the two cows to produce the milk of four cows.
	www.uselectionatlas.org /FORUM/index.php?action=printpage;topic=3123.0 (775 words)

	AnimeNfo :: View topic - You have two cows
		You have two cows and a stupid dog in the corner telling you where to find your damned files.
		You are required by law to surrender one cow to the CPF corral lah.
		You have two death cows with feral eyes and bloody fangs who hang out at the local graveyard a lot.
	www.animenfo.com /forums/viewtopic.php?p=124057 (2309 words)

	You have two cows - Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
		You have two cows is the philosophical truth of the entire world.
		Mathematical proof that you have two cows lies in mooemetric identity:
		~ Yakov Smirnoff on You have two cows
	uncyclopedia.org /wiki/You_have_two_cows (324 words)

	COWS Ajax
		However it is greatly limited by the browser same-origin policy, meaning that your site can only be as good as the web applications and tools that you create.
		The first app to use COWS Ajax is SpellingCow.
		COWS Ajax makes this cross-site, asynchronous, tri-directional communication (the user, your site, the application host) a no-brainer.
	cows-ajax.sourceforge.net (390 words)

	Amardeep Singh: Uncyclopedia; You have two cows
		Or I might add to the lucid comparisons of various political ideologies and world religions, under "You have two cows".
		Because of their freedom and universality of topics, "two cows" jokes are sometimes considered a good example of "cross-cultural humor." They can be concise examples (not necessarily scientific) of how different cultures can express different visions of the same political concept, by paradox, hyperbole, or sarcasm.
		In the spirit of finding international common ground, some also see them as humorous manifestations of an underlying general scheme of political science that would compare legal or political concepts, such as the rights of ownership, across cultures around the world.
	www.lehigh.edu /~amsp/2005/03/uncyclopedia-you-have-two-cows.html (308 words)

	Cows Are Cool: Leather Is Cruel, Not Cool
		Leather may be made from cows, pigs, goats, and sheep; exotic animals like alligators, ostriches, and kangaroos; and even dogs and cats, who are slaughtered for their meat and skins in China, which exports their skins around the world.
		When the milk production of cows on dairy farms decreases, the cows are killed and their skins are made into leather.
		The hides of their calves, who are frequently raised for veal, are made into high-priced calfskin.
	www.cowsarecool.com (397 words)

Try your search on: Qwika (all wikis)